Expectations

inkless-and-bleeding:

I try not to get my hopes up about anything anymore.

A quiet child waiting for Santa in the silent night only to smash
my six-year-old heart like Lego bricks against the
pavement. I have spent twenty-three years waiting with
fractured anticipation for a love that gives without taking
pieces of my soul, but I am getting too old to play games
when trains and planes are stealing you away from me and
I’ve built all this up only to watch it be caught on a southerly
breeze through the gum trees. I can’t plead with you
to stay when the days are slipping out of our hands and
I can’t even figure out how long it takes to fall
into you when your eyes are the window to the only home
I have ever wanted to belong to, and all the words we
spoke to the coal-infused city were scattered across
the sea and sing to me as I sleep. I have been trying
not to keep a hold on you when my fingers are burned
— all I have ever learned from life is: it’s called falling in love
because it hurts.


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